there are things I have been meaning to say, but I don’t know if I should scream them from a mountain or whisper them to the walls of my bedroom. I want to tell you i’m tired of fighting. I’m exhausted quite frankly. I want to tell you that my heart hurts and I don’t know how to fix it. I crave nothing more than to run away with you, somewhere we can start new. I am sick with jealousy, it’s seeping through my skin and I don’t know how to swallow it. I’ve been meaning to mention the sleepless nights and the lack of appetite and the way I am so desperately seeking reassurance and relevance and value. How much I crumble inside when plans change, when I feel forgotten, like a second choice, an option in the distance. I catch myself in quick moments of anger, pure emptiness and defeat inside my bones. I want to remind you that I’m fragile, that I need gentle care, but I don’t ever bring myself to let the words spill from my lips. I learn to keep my mouth shut and I let the feelings absorb everything inside of me. But I think if I keep holding onto this, I might explode.

- 2:26am